December 2009
23 posts
Untrue Fact of the Day - 12/28/2009
All of the ”coolest” characters throughout history, from Andrew Jackson to James Dean to James Bond to Lady Gaga, have all been based on one truly iconic character that is hands-down the baddest cat to ever walk the planet. I speak, of course, of Snoopy’s alter-ego “Joe Cool”. Never has anybody ever come close to him in coolness, and most likely, nobody ever will. ...
Untrue Fact of the Day - 12/26/2009
Well, we here at UFOTD hope you had a Merry Christmas yesterday, and, as you are no doubt on your way to return the copy of “Madea Goes to Jail” that your creepy Uncle Sal got you, here’s a completely untrue fact for you to keep in mind:
In 2000, legendary method actor Jim Varney, best known for his character “Ernest,” was looking for a new iconic character to play,...
Untrue Fact of the Day - 12/25/2009
Day 12: Twelve Drummers Drumming
Cost: $59.95
Origin: As told in the Bible, the best gift given to the baby Jesus when he was born (12/25/0000), was a personal show by the Blue Man Group (many of the ones who performed for Jesus are still touring today).
Merry Christmas!
Untrue Fact of the Day - 12/24/2009
Day 11: Eleven Pipers Piping
Cost: It doesn’t matter, it’s worth every penny
Origin: This gift is given every year to the one person you despise most. It has been documented that there is nothing in this world more annoying than eleven pipers piping. The tradition started during the American Revolution, when American colonists drove the British back across the Atlantic Ocean, armed...
Untrue Fact of the Day - 12/23/2009
Day 10: Ten Lords A-leaping
Cost: Your soul
Origin: Usually this gift is only seen in “White Elephant” gift giving games. It is largely considered a gag gift (like a donkey on “Let’s Make a Deal”) that most people fear they will be stuck with at the end of the game. However, should you play with Ryan Seacrest, you needn’t fear because he will most...
Untrue Fact of the Day - 12/22/2009
Day 9: Nine Ladies Dancing
Cost: $20 cover and a bunch of singles for tips
Origin: As early as the 1940s, strip clubs started offering a “Nine Girl Chirstmas Special” to patrons. That offer has evolved into today’s tradition of fathers taking their 18-year-old sons to a local strip club and buying them 9 lap dances. The sons were never heard from again.
Untrue Fact of the Day - 12/21/2009
Day 8: Eight Maids A-milking
Cost: 5-10 years in a federal penitentiary* (Or $10.00 in China)
Origin: The tradition of trading women as property started since before history was even recorded, and has persisted to present day in some parts of the world. The number of maids in this gift is largely attributed to a practice started by Hugh Hefner, in which he would give eight Playboy models to...
Untrue Fact of the Day - 12/20/2009
Day 7: Seven Swans A-swimming
Cost: More than you have to spend
Origin: This is one of the more questionable gifts of the twelve, as swans, in fact, cannot actually swim. The needless drowning of seven innocent swans makes the originator of this gift a really sadistic psychopath. Nobody knows for sure who started this horrible, horrible “gift,” but most suspect it was Dick Cheney.
Untrue Fact of the Day - 12/19/2009
Day 6: Six Geese A-laying
Cost: A pack of saltines (crumble up the saltines and catch a goose at a local pond)*
Origin: The goose was invented in 1933, at the height of the Great Depression, as a cost-effective alternative to duck. Wealthy Americans were seeing less return on their investments in the stock market, and had to cut back on their lavish spending. Not wanting the wealthiest...
Untrue Fact of the Day - 12/18/2009
Day 5: Five Gold Rings
Cost: $1.25 at your local arcade
Origin: The wearing of gold rings was unheard of before the 1960s. The practice was seen as garish and flamboyant, until a widely popular, conservatively-dressed musician, named Liberace, made gold rings standard business attire. Ever since, Italian-American “businessmen” and purveyors of flesh have bolstered sales of gold all...
Untrue Fact of the Day - 12/17/2009
Day 4: Four Calling Birds
Cost: Unknown
Origin: Nobody actually knows what a “calling bird” is.
Untrue Fact of the Day - 12/16/2009
Day 3: Three French Hens
Cost: $100 each….why so expensive? They’re French.
Origin: ”French hens” are not actually French (kind of like “French fries”). The term originated from the now-illegal activity of cock fighting. The loser of the fight was commonly called a “French hen.” Not wanting to be associated with a losing rooster, or the French,...
Untrue Fact of the Day - 12/15/2009
Day 2: Two Turtle Doves
Cost: $15 each, or 2 for $27.50. (Or free if you befriend an eccentric New York City toy store owner, who looks suspiciously like the owner of the Chicago Cubs)
Origin: The result of a drunken night out in 1955, the offspring of a turtle and a dove were discovered by a 9-year-old girl in Minnesota. She gave the abominations to her father, a holiday tradition that has...
Untrue Fact of the Day - 12/14/2009
Seeing as there are 12 days left until Christmas (if you were to start giving gifts today, it would culminate with the 12th gift on Christmas Day…and we know you’re supposed to start on Christmas Day, but we want our presents now, damn it), we here at Untrue Fact of the Day have decided to look at the origins of each of the gifts of “The 12 Days of Christmas.”
Day 1: A...
Untrue Fact of the Day - 12/11/2009
On December 11, 1975 nothing happened. Then-President of the United States Gerald Ford blamed himself for accidentally skipping an entire day, and made up for it by adding a day to 1976. Since 1976 was already a leap year, it marks the only year in history that saw a February 30th. It was President Ford’s greatest accomplishment in office, however he could not shake the stigma of missing...
Untrue Fact of the Day - 12/10/2009
The only possible way to make College Football more exciting is to have it regulated by the Federal Government.
Untrue Fact of the Day - 12/9/2009
90% of the Bible was written by Stephen King and J.K. Rowling, with King focusing on the Old Testament, and Rowling focusing on the story of the character of “Jesus.” The other 10% was added in through revisions of the original text. It consists of inaccuracies passed down through oral renditions of “Biblical Scholars.” The editors liked the stories fabricated by these...
Untrue Fact of the Day - 12/8/2009
When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are, anything your heart desires will come to you.
Untrue Fact of the Day - 12/7/2009
Former Dallas Cowboys coach Jimmie Johnson’s hair is actually one solid piece…not unlike that of a lego person.
Untrue Fact of the Day - 12/6/2009
If someone asks if you are a god, you say, “yes!”
Untrue Fact of the Day - 12/5/2009
Men who drive Hummers are often well-endowed.
Untrue Fact of the Day - 12/4/2009
Former Vice President of the United States Al Gore invented the internet.
Untrue Fact of the Day - 12/3/2009
All “old wives’ tales” originated from a group of women calling themselves “The Old Wives’ Club,” not to be confused with the movie The First Wives Clubstarring Diane Keaton, Bette Midler, and Goldie Hawn (though very similar). The Old Wives’ Club, consisting of Betsy Ross, Martha Washington, and Nancy Reagan, would meet every Saturday evening at an...