L. Ron Hubbard was indeed a prophet, and not in any way a science fiction writer.  And he hath prophesied unto me from his eternal rest that Glarlox, descendant of Lord Xenu, ruler of the Galactic Confederacy has assembled a mighty fleet with the sole purpose of collecting our thetans. He has reached the outer rim of our Solar System, and the time for reckoning grows nigh.  L. Ron Hubbard commands that you cast your mortal bounds into the depths of the Throne of the Moon (Cotopaxi, a volcano in Ecuador) that your thetan may shed its prison in preparation for the Great Glarlox’s arrival.

(After reading this, Tom Cruise was never heard from again.)

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